Now even though this is for comedic value, I don't want anyone to think I'm taking this lightly. Actually, some of these things––mostly said in innocence or with the best intentions––raise some serious questions. But if you can't laugh at yourself and your life...well, if I couldn't laugh, I'd cry.
1. "Salaam, sister," said by Muslim men and women who I do not know
This is definitely the most common thing that started happening almost as soon as I put the hijab on. There is a very real kinship between hijabis; almost never will I pass a hijabi in public and not at least make some knowing eye contact. On a few occasions, other hijabis have come from clear across the grocery store or parking lot to say "Salaam!" and offer me and my family blessings. Non-hijabi Muslimahs do the same on occasion, and Muslim men, too, though usually after a cautious, "Are you Muslim?" because even though in many countries around the world there are fair-skinned and blue-eyed hijabis, I suppose my appearance still raises some doubt in America (thanks, mass media––but that's a whole other post).
After seven months, I'm a pro, quick with the "Wa'alaikum salaam," but when it first started happening I was pretty much so surprised and touched I just gave an awkwardly big smile and said "Um, um Salaam to you too!" Ugh, noob.
2. "Are you American Muslim or Muslim Muslim?" asked by unfortunately more than one person
Don't let my response of "I'm not sure what you mean," fool you. I know "what you mean" but I'm going to play dumb so you have to elaborate and expose yourself for the Fox-News-Bill-O'Reilly-watching sheep that you are. This is the more ignorant variation of "So where are you from?" that deserves an honorable mention on this list. I'm from Scranton, Pennsylvania, by the way, good-ol' coal-crackin' country, and many moons ago my family came from Europe, much like the people who usually ask this.
3. "So what are the rules?"
I bought my first hijab at DSW where it was just a plain old scarf, and it didn't come with a rule book or instruction manual (but holla to my sisters on YouTube who showed me how to rock that 'jab).
Like most adults, I live by a very specific and personal code of what I believe is right and good for me. The Quran provides no literal, specific instructions or "rules" for the wearing of the hijab––it emphasizes modesty in both dress and action. Hadiths, or stories about the works and life of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), provide a little more anecdotal guidance, but again, there are no blanket, black and white "rules." This of course will not prevent people from telling you there are "rules," but what those "rules" are are their specific and personal code of what they believe is right.
Some women wear a hijab and cover all of their hair and neck (which is, incidentally, how I wear mine). Some will cover their necks but show a bit of their hairline. And some women will go beyond the hijab, covering their entire face except their eyes (the niqab), or covering their entire face including their eyes (the much publicized burqa). Some will wear only black, white, or solid colors. None of these methods are more or less right because it is entirely at the wearer's discretion.
4. "How many of those do you have?"
The answer is a lot. Maybe too many. But my hijab is my crown and I need one for every occasion.
5. "Aren't you afraid of being attacked?" asked, again, by unfortunately more than one person
Um...I wasn't...until now, a little bit...by you...
(The @%$&ing sad thing is, as a woman in the world, the possibility of being accosted, verbally or physically, was and remains a terrifyingly real concern. With or without a hijab.)
6. "Aren't you hot?"
You bet I'm hot!
Oh, you mean...well, let's put it this way. If it's hot outside, I'm hot. If it's cold, I'm cold. The scarf did not impede my body's ability to regulate its temperature. Just like you wouldn't wear a wool sweater on a 90-degree day I don't wear a thick, black hijab on those days either. Actually, covering your head with an airy, light-colored fabric actually keeps you cooler in oppressive heat (hence, men and women wearing head coverings in desert climates). Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
7. *any question about the practices, beliefs, etc of Islam*
Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate about Islam, and I love talking about it. But there is a lot I don't know, and some things I can't explain (and any Jewish or Catholic person would probably say the same about their respective faith if they were being honest). So don't be surprised when I can't answer all your questions, and furthermore, I'd be hesitant to believe any human who says that they can. For the truth about Islam, the best resource is, was, and always will be the Holy Quran.
8. "But you still wear skinny jeans/smoke hookah/etc..." OR "But you don't pray five times a day/eat only halal/etc..."
This is probably the one that gets me the most, probably because more than often not, it comes from brothers and sisters in Islam.
First things first: while my hijab is my crown, it is not a trophy because I've "won at being Muslim," and am perfect at it. It is only a part of my journey closer to God. While I am conscious that as a hijabi people will possibly expect more from me as a visual representation of Islam, and I make an effort to conduct myself accordingly, I am still imperfect, and improving every day (insh'allah). I am far from sinless.
Secondly, not to fall back on a cliche, but everyone is a sinner in some way. Don't point fingers because my sins look different than yours do, and don't point fingers because my definition of "modesty" doesn't directly coincide with yours. This goes back to people and their "rules." Of course, I appreciate any counsel or advice from a concerned brother or sister, but people who say things like "Don't wear a hijab if you're going to wear heels" or "Why bother if you don't pray"? Bye, Felicia.
9. "So how long are you going to wear it?"
As long as I want to. Not to be glib, but that's the simple truth. I put the hijab on because I wanted to, and if the day comes I want to take it off, I will. From where I sit now, I don't see that happening, but I can't see into the future. I am fortunate that there are no laws in the United States preventing me from wearing my hijab in public (there are countries, like France, where such laws do exist) and I would hope that would never come to pass, but it could. Or, something could simply change in my life down the road where I don't feel like the hijab is part of my journey anymore. Either way, for the foreseeable future, I'm going to have it on. So, deal.
10. "Will you accept Jesus Christ as your savior?"
Bless their hearts. This surprised me, because I definitely got approached to accept Jesus (PBUH) way more since the hijab.
And really, God bless the evangelists on the streets who see me as a lost sheep; I see the kindness and good intentions behind their inquiry, I do. But what they don't know, and probably would have a hard time accepting as true, is this: one cannot be Muslim without believing in the Gospel of Jesus, and one cannot be Muslim without believing Jesus is going to return to have a mega-Revelations-style showdown with Evil.
Because, again, thanks to the media and bigots talking loudly with little actual knowledge, most people have no clue just how closely tied Christianity and Islam (and Judaism, for what it's worth) are. We are all children of the book, we are all believers. Jesus is the most quoted prophet in the Quran, before even Mohammed.
Allah is God, and God is Allah.
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