This is not an apology

I posted this picture last week on Instagram and Twitter.

I did so for a lot of reasons, not least of all is this: I am a woman who wears a hijab every day. People see me and even though they shouldn't, they look at me at least a little bit to see what Islam is. I am conscious of this and try to show them the Islam I know: love, kindness, respect, and humility. It is equally important, especially lately unfortunately, to also show them what Islam is not.

And Islam is not ISIS, or their doctrine.

I have received a lot of support for this post, and for that I am grateful. There have also been a few responses I've gotten, both directly and indirectly, vis à vis Facebook and Twitter posts about "Muslim apologists" (yeah, I see you) that I felt were problematic and warranted further address.

But before I do that, let me been unmistakeably, unequivocally clear:

This is not an apology. 

To non-Muslim brothers and sisters of the Books (often, Christians) who say, "How can you say this is not Islam when they are quoting the Qur'an, too? How is this anything but pure Islam?"

I felt like this was addressed in the post itself, but allow me to delve a little deeper. Are there not verses in the Bible calling for violence? Of course there are. And just like ISIS appropriated out of context verses from the Qur'an, the Klu Klux Klan (in addition to the Westboro Baptist Church and several other groups) appropriated out of context verses from the Bible to further their own violent, greedy, racist, hateful ends. Would you call any of these doctrines "pure Christianity"? Of course not.

That is because these people and their dogmas are not religious, they are extremist. It is unfortunate, and a test of our faiths, that these people exist alongside us. And just like there is the Gospel of Jesus (pbuh), which in its teachings of love and mercy seem to at times contradict the wrathful, brutal, absoluteness of God (swt) in the Old Testament, the hadiths are offered to supplement the Qur'an, and teach of love, mercy, and respect for human life. I am not a responsible Muslim or you Christians if we do not take into advisement all of the resources and teachings granted to us by God (swt).

So as a Christian, do not tell me these men equate to my religion unless you are willing to accept the KKK as equitable to your own.

To Atheists, who say, "You're right, this is not just Islam, this is all religion. They are all irrational/violent/dangerous."

Much like my response to my above brothers and sisters in Christianity: yes, each of the Abrahamic religions has several passages in their Holy Books calling for violence of some type. But these are tempered with other passages, both in the Holy Books and by the respective prophets, which advocate peace, love, and mercy. Yes, there is a duality but it therefore requires reason to work out.

It is perhaps because of this that with Islam there is a requirement in the Qur'an of consensus of the ummah (Muslim community) before major community decisions can be made, and beyond that, a requirement of consensus between well studied individuals and academics before decisions regarding the faith (such as fatwas) can be made. Sounds pretty rational to me, because if you allow one man to have the power to cherry-pick the verses or the interpretations to his liking, you will get people like bin Laden and al-Baghdadi, and consequently their followers. 

And make no mistake: there has been no such consensus that what these men are doing is right or representative of the faith. There are extremists out there who do you think so, but they make a miniscule portion of the ummah (this is proven with statistics). And may God (swt) help their lost souls.

And finally...

To my brothers and sisters in Islam who say, "Stop apologizing," because "if we're to apologize for this than X group needs to apologize for Y event," or "This has nothing to do with us, we are good Muslims."

You are wrong about one thing: as the title states, this is not an apology. This is a declaration. I am not saying "I'm sorry for Islam." I am saying, "These barbarians do not speak for me or my religion."

You are right about one thing: every powerful country and group in the world has a lot to apologize for. There have been so many atrocities, so much loss of life, so much war, famine, poverty in just the last hundred years, and a lot of apologies are due. Humanity has a lot to answer for.

But can we control the American government officials? Or the British, Israeli, Indian, Iranian, French, Pakistani, German? No, we can't, not in a tangible way. Unless you are a member of these organizations at the highest level the likelihood you will make an impact is nil. But you are a member of the ummah. You do have an impact there, and moreover, a responsibility to it. And maybe it's not fair, but that's not the question. You can't answer one wrong with another, one complacency with another. 

That is the one thing I know for sure, that is the essence to me of the teachings of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and Prophet Jesus (pbuh): in the face of injustice, it is not right to reciprocate that injustice. Granted, we are not as strong as these men. But we still have an obligation as Muslims to conduct ourselves the way they demonstrated and the way Allah (swt) commands, to the best of our ability.

Which brings me to the next point: "This has nothing to do with us! We're not out there spewing this vitriol, propagating this hate, committing these monstrous acts!" Yes, of course, that's true in a literal sense. But that does not change the fact that these men, these boys, are doing these things in the name of our religion. Doesn't that terrify you? Allah (swt), Prophet Mohammed (pbuh), and Islam are being degraded and besmirched by these horrific events not only in the eyes of non-Muslims but by Muslims too! Why else would these boys from the UK, US, Belgium, etc be going to join forces with them? They are being told by these animals that this is what Islam is and not enough people are showing them it is not.

No one is standing up and saying, "Not in my name. Not in the name of my Prophet, my God, or my religion."

Not now, not ever.

10 things people will say to you when you wear a hijab

Today marks seven months since I put on a hijab (mash'allah). Doing so has provided me with some amazing, beautiful, unique experiences, mostly internally with my own spirituality and relationship with Allah (SWT), but also externally with other people. Since I can only barely and not-very-coherently at this point describe the internal revelations I've experienced in the past months, I will commemorate this occasion by writing about the external experiences. Namely, some of the most common questions people––mostly strangers, actually––have asked or things they've said that were related to the hijab or Islam as a whole.

Now even though this is for comedic value, I don't want anyone to think I'm taking this lightly. Actually, some of these things––mostly said in innocence or with the best intentions––raise some serious questions. But if you can't laugh at yourself and your life...well, if I couldn't laugh, I'd cry.

1. "Salaam, sister," said by Muslim men and women who I do not know

This is definitely the most common thing that started happening almost as soon as I put the hijab on. There is a very real kinship between hijabis; almost never will I pass a hijabi in public and not at least make some knowing eye contact. On a few occasions, other hijabis have come from clear across the grocery store or parking lot to say "Salaam!" and offer me and my family blessings. Non-hijabi Muslimahs do the same on occasion, and Muslim men, too, though usually after a cautious, "Are you Muslim?" because even though in many countries around the world there are fair-skinned and blue-eyed hijabis, I suppose my appearance still raises some doubt in America (thanks, mass media––but that's a whole other post).

After seven months, I'm a pro, quick with the "Wa'alaikum salaam," but when it first started happening I was pretty much so surprised and touched I just gave an awkwardly big smile and said "Um, um Salaam to you too!" Ugh, noob.

2. "Are you American Muslim or Muslim Muslim?" asked by unfortunately more than one person

Don't let my response of "I'm not sure what you mean," fool you. I know "what you mean" but I'm going to play dumb so you have to elaborate and expose yourself for the Fox-News-Bill-O'Reilly-watching sheep that you are. This is the more ignorant variation of "So where are you from?" that deserves an honorable mention on this list. I'm from Scranton, Pennsylvania, by the way, good-ol' coal-crackin' country, and many moons ago my family came from Europe, much like the people who usually ask this.

3. "So what are the rules?"

I bought my first hijab at DSW where it was just a plain old scarf, and it didn't come with a rule book or instruction manual (but holla to my sisters on YouTube who showed me how to rock that 'jab).

Like most adults, I live by a very specific and personal code of what I believe is right and good for me. The Quran provides no literal, specific instructions or "rules" for the wearing of the hijab––it emphasizes modesty in both dress and action. Hadiths, or stories about the works and life of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), provide a little more anecdotal guidance, but again, there are no blanket, black and white "rules." This of course will not prevent people from telling you there are "rules," but what those "rules" are are their specific and personal code of what they believe is right.

Some women wear a hijab and cover all of their hair and neck (which is, incidentally, how I wear mine). Some will cover their necks but show a bit of their hairline. And some women will go beyond the hijab, covering their entire face except their eyes (the niqab), or covering their entire face including their eyes (the much publicized burqa). Some will wear only black, white, or solid colors. None of these methods are more or less right because it is entirely at the wearer's discretion.

4. "How many of those do you have?"

The answer is a lot. Maybe too many. But my hijab is my crown and I need one for every occasion.

5. "Aren't you afraid of being attacked?" asked, again, by unfortunately more than one person

Um...I wasn't...until now, a little bit...by you...

(The @%$&ing sad thing is, as a woman in the world, the possibility of being accosted, verbally or physically, was and remains a terrifyingly real concern. With or without a hijab.)

6. "Aren't you hot?"

You bet I'm hot!

Oh, you mean...well, let's put it this way. If it's hot outside, I'm hot. If it's cold, I'm cold. The scarf did not impede my body's ability to regulate its temperature. Just like you wouldn't wear a wool sweater on a 90-degree day I don't wear a thick, black hijab on those days either. Actually, covering your head with an airy, light-colored fabric actually keeps you cooler in oppressive heat (hence, men and women wearing head coverings in desert climates). Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

7. *any question about the practices, beliefs, etc of Islam*

Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate about Islam, and I love talking about it. But there is a lot I don't know, and some things I can't explain (and any Jewish or Catholic person would probably say the same about their respective faith if they were being honest). So don't be surprised when I can't answer all your questions, and furthermore, I'd be hesitant to believe any human who says that they can. For the truth about Islam, the best resource is, was, and always will be the Holy Quran.

8. "But you still wear skinny jeans/smoke hookah/etc..." OR "But you don't pray five times a day/eat only halal/etc..."

This is probably the one that gets me the most, probably because more than often not, it comes from brothers and sisters in Islam.

First things first: while my hijab is my crown, it is not a trophy because I've "won at being Muslim," and am perfect at it. It is only a part of my journey closer to God. While I am conscious that as a hijabi people will possibly expect more from me as a visual representation of Islam, and I make an effort to conduct myself accordingly, I am still imperfect, and improving every day (insh'allah). I am far from sinless.

Secondly, not to fall back on a cliche, but everyone is a sinner in some way. Don't point fingers because my sins look different than yours do, and don't point fingers because my definition of "modesty" doesn't directly coincide with yours. This goes back to people and their "rules." Of course, I appreciate any counsel or advice from a concerned brother or sister, but people who say things like "Don't wear a hijab if you're going to wear heels" or "Why bother if you don't pray"? Bye, Felicia.

9.  "So how long are you going to wear it?"

As long as I want to. Not to be glib, but that's the simple truth. I put the hijab on because I wanted to, and if the day comes I want to take it off, I will. From where I sit now, I don't see that happening, but I can't see into the future. I am fortunate that there are no laws in the United States preventing me from wearing my hijab in public (there are countries, like France, where such laws do exist) and I would hope that would never come to pass, but it could. Or, something could simply change in my life down the road where I don't feel like the hijab is part of my journey anymore.  Either way, for the foreseeable future, I'm going to have it on. So, deal.

10. "Will you accept Jesus Christ as your savior?"

Bless their hearts. This surprised me, because I definitely got approached to accept Jesus (PBUH) way more since the hijab.

And really, God bless the evangelists on the streets who see me as a lost sheep; I see the kindness and good intentions behind their inquiry, I do. But what they don't know, and probably would have a hard time accepting as true, is this: one cannot be Muslim without believing in the Gospel of Jesus, and one cannot be Muslim without believing Jesus is going to return to have a mega-Revelations-style showdown with Evil.

Because, again, thanks to the media and bigots talking loudly with little actual knowledge, most people have no clue just how closely tied Christianity and Islam (and Judaism, for what it's worth) are. We are all children of the book, we are all believers. Jesus is the most quoted prophet in the Quran, before even Mohammed.

Allah is God, and God is Allah.